I’ve been stuck in twitter zings and facebook updates for a while now. I thought that blogging would be something I was over. I think I was wrong.
I do need a place to babble about stuff, not just send a buck40 across an iPhone blast or posting pictures of my kid with buzzy captions.
Let me preface this with saying the following, I am passionate about what I do. That of course is the crux of my issue. The people I work with are motivated by something besides, “the mission” or “the solutions” they are focused exclusively on the following terms revenue and profit.
Interesting Work for Interesting People, is the best philosophy in this business, otherwise you find yourself chasing every stupid little project that comes up. Government Contracting isn’t all sitting the Crisis Center, and knowing the right thing to do at that right moment. Sometimes, you’re a guy who just has to throw a switch. Thats your job, throw a switch. Thats fine for some companies to chase, ones that are focused on profits as their sole motives.
Why am I writing about this now, because I am formulating my thoughts for a meeting I’m going to have in about 45 minutes with the VP of something, Not sure if its operations or what. He’s been hiring BD folks to go win work, and we have a really shallow bench. Like, its pretty much me, and a couple of other guys.
In the interest of full disclosure, as I tweeted about yesterday, I’ve decided to ditch professionalism, in lieu of something better, being myself. I kick ass, I know I do, I know what I am capable of, and I know what I can’t do. For a majority of my career, I’ve been the guy they drop into a failing project, turn it around and deliver it. From both a PM as well as a code slinger. I don’t need people cheerleading from the sidelines, I need people who understand this stuff, a little at least, and who can help support me in those meetings.
If you want to build a geospatial group, then give me the effin resources to do it, and the effin’ time. Point blank, I care more about my 10 month old’s spit up than I do about building a geospatial practice for you. Ask me again in 5 years, and I’ll tell you I’m more interested in her skinned knee. I’ll do what I can to help you, but when push comes to shove, wife and daughter win.
Where is this going, well, I’m not going to do billable work for 8-10 hours a day then go home and “work on the Geospatial Group.” If you want it, its going to cost you something. I can build it for you, I can fucking do this from soup to nuts. From the contacts, both contractor and fed, writing the proposal, winning the goddamned work, and actually doing the job.
I’ve pushed myself for companies, I’ve lost myself in projects, where I became a project “hero.” Nothing else mattered besides delivery, and when I see coworkers and friends in similar situations, I try to warn them, but they truly never listen, because they are heros. I’ll give you far more than 110% during the hours when lil girl is at daycare, or when I’m on travel. But, for a long-term thing, my choice is to watch her crawl, watch my wife and her play, and make sure she knows that I’m there.
I understand there are situations where I can’t be, but anyone that I can control I will, and this is one of those.
So, put up the cash, get me some help, or watch this melt away.
Thanks for reading my psych up